My sister and I had quite a strict upbringing. And pornography is dilarang keras (strictly prohibited) as licentious material throughout Indonesia. We were both sheltered from the ways of the world as were growing up. Neither of us were allowed a handphone until we graduated from high school and our access to the internet was always strictly monitored. Consequently, pornographic imagery was not something that I was familiar with at all. You can imagine my surprise and fascination when I saw pictures of men and women, not just naked – even that was mindblowing enough! – but also doing things with each other; things that seemed to be related to ‘reproduction’ and ‘intercourse’ but beyond my imagination or young knowledge.

It started one day in high school when my sister, Lakita, who is two years old than me, played truant from school. In retrospect, I think my darling sister was always the one that was bound to lead me astray. On this occasion, she said found the magazine under our parents’ bed, but I now reckon she met her first boyfriend that day and he gave her the porno mag. That makes more sense. Anyway, as I was saying, I’d never seen any images of naked people before, let alone sex. I couldn’t believe it. As soon as Lakita said what she had my heart was racing. She was so brazen and proud about it too. She was always like that. About everything. Including sex.

“Ev, look at this!”, she practically hissed as I walked through the door and into our room after school. Back in those days it was our room and we shared a bunk bed with Lakita on the bottom. During the day, or basically anytime when she was reading or writing in her doing or (rarely) doing homework, Lakita would commandeer the top bunk as her own. That’s where she was on this occasion, cheerful, gloating and gleeful even before I’d managed to slump down my school bag. I had heard classmates talking about what they found under siblings’ beds and so on. I had heard enough to make me curious as to what it actually looked like.

I didn’t have a mobile phone anyway, but this was pretty much just before access to the internet became commonplace and dialup connections were still really slow, especially in Indonesia. There was probably more likelihood of a magazine being brought into the country and Lakita’s boyfriend was also from overseas. I’m sure she lied about where it was from. As soon as I saw her reading something I knew what it was. Lakita would never look at a magazine otherwise. She loved the tv. And sleeping. And aerobics. Now she was so happy it was as if she was in love with something else.

And so she threw the magazine to me, pretending like it was nothing. I guess I tried to do the same. But my hands were shaking. I knew it was naughty. I knew it would be something I had never seen before but had been wondering about. It was a thick, glossy magazine. Obviously high quality. I was surprised by how heavy it was.
“What’s this?”, I asked, feigning ignorance.
“Majalah porno aja” [“Just a porn mag”], Lakita replied using colloquial and local idiom just to prove that it was all fairly mundane for one such as her. When she claimed to have found it under our parents’ bed, I was dumbfounded.

“What do they want it for?”, I queried and Lakita laughed.

“Go on, have a look Ev!” she practically demanded.

The title of the magazine was two words, and the second word was CUNTS. I remember this word because at the time I didn’t know what it meant but I could guess that it meant something naughty. Of course, the magazine was imported. In this case it was a hardcore European magazine published in the mid-90s, several years before I saw it. The images were accompanied with text in various languages. It didn’t take me long to work out the meaning of “cunt”. It was probably just as a surprise that cunt could mean so much to the horny, performers and porn-readers of the world.
And so I looked at porn for the first time.

It was a picture of a young blonde woman having what I now know is “reverse cowgirl” sex. I say blonde, but her eyes and eyebrows were dark. Her pubis was shaved completely bare. And she was very white – as was the thick, hard cock inside her – and young and beautiful. And she was spreading her luscious, young labia, eyes fixed on the camera; the photographer.

There was an instant tingle between my legs.

My senses were seemingly overwhelmed by what I was seeing – the thick cock, shameless, explicit, beautiful fucking. Another word with which I was about to become increasingly familiar. FUCKING. And this was it! Right before my mesmerised and outrageously innocent eyes. Hardcore sex. Group sex. Ejaculation! I didn’t even know what a male cumshot looked like until then. ( I didn’t even know that balls hung down in a beautiful sack from the shaft of the cock. I thought they were packaged together based on the drawings I’d seen. )

HARDCORE SEX. The reality. From the kissing to the creamy cumshot.

Hardcore Sex … I’m sure it said as much on the back of the magazine. In bright, bold slightly lurid colours. The paper was so glossy and shiny. I was surprised just by how heavy the magazine was and how realistic the colour was. I was shocked and surprised and instantly drawn to the intensity of what I was looking at. Well-dressed and well-groomed beauties – men and women. Threesomes, women kissing, the big cocks, pudenda, penetration, sperm!
The sight of a hard, veiny cock ploughing into a shaved ‘cunt’. And the way that the women kissed and licked each other. That got my attention straight away.

Perhaps my immediate attraction was obvious, but Lakita chastised me for it, sprang down from the top bunk of the bed and snatched the magazine from me.

“That’s enough, silly! You’re too young to try those things!”

“And so am”, she added haughtily, before grabbing me around the waist with sisterly affection and slapping my bottom with the magazine which had so shocked and fasicinated me.

That night I imagined what I had seen. Overcome with a heady of mixture of guilt and pleasure I replayed the wanton images in my mind – labelling them with my new vocabulary

CUNT, COCK, sucking, kissing, and fucking (and climaxing!) …

And with those thoughts I rubbed my clit quietly until I climaxed for the first time in my life.

I thought I was quiet about it, but the pleasure was intense and the vibration of the bed probably alerted Lakita to my hedonistic endeavour. I now reckon she was doing it too.

She wanted to share her “knowledge” with me somehow. And be like her, perhaps!

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