I got up to go to the bathroom, and when I came back, Amy was sitting there. She was much older now, older than Ida, but I knew it was her. “Hi Syl, what’s up? I heard you talking ‘to Ida, and I thought I’d drop in if that’s okay with you…” Ever since this business of Amy and guardian angels had come to pass, I thought I must have taken something at Margo’s party that made me schizophrenic. Amy looked at me. “Nah, you ain’t schizo..I’d tell you if you were. You just tapped into another layer of reality, that’s all. No big deal. It has nothing to do with sex or Margo or all the coke you put up your nose, though I’ve got to say, you have a big appetite for that stuff. So do I, when I’m in my human aspect. Don’t worry about it. Here’s the deal baby:: I’m not too pleased about what happened with you and Donnie, He’s not very sophisticated, he hasn’t had nearly as much sex, crazy sex, kinky sex, as you have. You did scare the crap out of him, and when he came back and got a whiff of what you left him, he broke down and cried, Syl. He is a cute boy, but how do you think he is going to be with the next girl who decides she wants to roll around with him? I’m your angel, okay?'” and with that, she changed her shape until she was about six times as large, with a white gown, huge feathered wings, boobs, hips and every bit the guardian angel that catholic k**s got. Her eyes were on fire. Her voice made the whole house shake. “I’m TELLING YOU RIGHT HERE THAT YOUR OBLIGATION IN THIS LIFETIME IS TO BE KIND TO PEOPLE!!! DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND ME??? DON’T CRAWL UNDER THE TABLE.IF YOU WANT TO BE MEAN AND TREAT PEOPLE LIKE SHIT, I’M GOING TO PACK IT UP!!! I GOT LOTS OF CLIENTS!!!” WALK OUT ONTO SAN PABLO AVENUE WITH ME, I DON’T WANT SET IDA’S HOUSE ON FIRE.” Amy stood on the corner of Giman and San Pablo, you know where that is, almost in Albany. She became a pillar of fire, sixty or seventy feet high, scaring the immortal crap out of everyone who happened to be cruising down San Pablo at that moment! She did that for ten or fifteen seconds, long enough for me to get the idea. I closed my eyes and fell, prostrate, onto the pavement. When I opened my eyes again, she was s*******n years old, red-haired Amy again, sitting at the table, tapping her Lucky Strike in the ashtray..” Ï didn’t mean to make you shit your pants, Sylvia, but this stuff is important. As your angel, I don’t give a fuck who pees on who as long as that is what you like, okay. Don’t lie to people or treat them like dog shit. Listen to Ida. She’s not an angel, yet, but she’s gonna be. The soldiers that fucked her, and the boys and girls and men and women who do you so many ways will always, always remember you as the hottest, hottest lover they have ever known that is important for the welfare of humanity on this planet, okay? I can see the rest of your life..wow girl, you are going to get a lot of dick and get your pussy eaten till all that cute red pussy hair is gray but ya gotta do it right.Can you dig what I’m trying ‘to tell you?”

Then, in an instant, Amy was a seven-year-old girl: “Aunt Ida, Aunt Sylvia smells kind of poopy?”

Ida took another sip of coffee. “Yeah, she’s right, Syl. It smells as if somebody goes “caca in Los Pantalones”. Go take care of that mess. There are clean undies and jeans by the bed, okay. When you get done come back here in the kitchen. I want to walk you through the studio and show you the painting I’m starting. ..remember, I was telling you how hot you looked the other day when all of us got all freaky? Go, go go, you need a serious wipe-off, my dear. I don’t know why on our bodies the sewer discharge pipe and the playground are right on top of each other,”
Nobody in health class had ever told me how much p*o was going into my underwear when I was confronted with just a little taste of the radiant glory of my guardian angel, but I can tell you, it’s a lot. I was on the toilet for 30 minutes, using up an entire roll of paper to clean myself. I gave up cleaning that way, and got in the shower, turned my behind to the warm water, with soap and hot water, cleaned myself for another thirty minutes. I put on the clean panties and jeans and looked for a place to throw the bag with the jeans and underwear I had been wearing away. When I walked back into the kitchen, Amy was still that freckly, gap-toothed redhead. “One of my jobs as your GA is to help you out when you are full of shit, or you appear to be going around with a stick up your butt, Syl! That was so fuckin; funny! Ida and I have to do purification and a protection thing on ya before you and Janet go to Los Angeles, but first, Ida has something she wants to show you…”
Amy looked at me and said “Glad you got cleaned up, I didn’t mean to scare you, but sometimes it’s my job to startle you, Most humans crap their pants when I do that, so don’t worry about it. This whoring thing you want to do is going to test you in every way, and I mean every way. Not too long ago, in your time, I was twelve years old in someplace in Texas. Mÿ “foster mom”(I had about ten of them) got me a job, wasn’t that nice. ? In that particular human aspect, I was developed when I was young, like you, and she thought I could bring some money in for her various habits if I was dancing at this titty bar down there, and maybe doing some blow jobs on the side. I wrote a song about it, ya wanna hear?”
Amy was suddenly a busty girl, way u******e, dancing in a sleazy bar somewhere in the southern United States, at some indeterminate time in the past forty years. She was naked except for a black g string. “I was a redneck riviera, virgin goddess, love c***d queen/ the old guys in the bar thought I was the hottest thang they’d ever seen/ I’m that hooker/c***d bride/ kindergarten teacher that you boys like to see./. If you want to look at my chest…baby be my guest, the lookin’ is free./..I’ve been workin’ in dumps like this since ten thousand B.C.!!!!.”

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