For years I followed my neighbor around and hung onto him like the annoying little sister he never wanted. And he had to put up with it because our dads were best friends and both of them got cross when I didn’t get my way. I was the epitome of the word brat. I always wanted to be around him and his friends and they always tried to get him to ditch me in the middle of nowhere, but he knew if I got snatched or hurt in any way it would be his ass on the line, so he let me tag along.

He was a few of years older than me, and I was less bratty as I got older, becoming a little more bold in my presence, except around Matt. Around him I sort of froze up, I guess? I had it bad and he fucking knew it. When he was 19 he went away to college. The day he left I put a card in his car then sat in my bedroom and watched him leave. I was a heartbroken 16-year-old, knowing he would end up with some hot college girl and I was just the annoying neighbor, easily and happily forgotten.

He came home over holidays and breaks sometimes but he never reached out, so neither did I. I did see him sometimes, when I was sitting in my bedroom window he would look up and wave when he was pulling out of the driveway to head back to school usually and my heart would just break all over again. I was a sappy teenager.
I wasn’t wrong, he ended up dating a classmate from his college and brought her home with him the summer after I graduated high school. So, I set aside the fact that I’d avoided dating throughout high school for the most part because I wanted to go out with him, and started trying to date. It went badly. I never went on more than two dates with anyone before I cut it off and said it just wasn’t working for me.

I couldn’t help but compare everyone to him and no one measured up. It really didn’t help that he was my first kiss, which was more of me tricking him into coming close enough for me to kiss him than an actual kiss. I was 13 and, as usual, tagging along with his friends. They were all in the 15-17 range and didn’t want to be seen hanging out with a 13-year-old, so he pulled me aside and shoved me down into the gravel, which also happened to be where a bunch of broken bottles were. I sliced up my hands, wrists, and knees pretty badly when I hit the ground. He had already turned around to go back to his friends who were a ways away from us when I realized I was hurt.

I lifted my hands from the ground and saw the blood just pouring down my hands and wrists and called out to him, “Matt…”

He turned around, annoyed, and started to tear into me until he saw the blood dripping down my forearms to my elbows and then to the ground as I held my hands up. I wasn’t crying, it hurt, but I think I was a bit stunned as there were a few very large shards of glass protruding from my hands and I didn’t know what to do. Matt’s friends all took off when they saw the blood, I was a 13-year-old girl and they were a group of older teen guys and it didn’t look good for them.

Matt started to pull some of the shards out of my hand but more blood gushed from the wound and I started crying, so he picked me up and had me wrap my arms and legs around his neck and waist so he could take his bike and get me to the hospital. When we showed up at the ER Matt’s clothes had my blood on them and he carried me inside and told them I’d fallen on broken bottles, not technically a lie, but not completely the truth either.

He went back in the room with me as I started screaming and begging for him to stay with me when they tried to separate us. He sat on a stool by my head and talked to me as the doctor and nurse worked to remove all of the glass, clean the wounds up and stitch up what needed to be stitched. Then they left the room to call both of our parents.

I had stopped crying and he used a paper towel to clean the dirt, tears, and blood from my face and then he leaned down to hug me and whispered he was sorry he pushed me. He looked at me and I lifted my head up and kissed him. It wasn’t like an epic romantic kiss, it was just my lips pressed firmly to his. He pulled away pretty quickly but he did linger for a moment. He never brought it up after that, he just pretended like it never happened.

He ended up marrying his college girlfriend when he was 25, it hurt but there wasn’t anything I could do about it. They had a couple of k**s and I was still hopelessly dating, with a few guys lasting a whole couple of months before I was done. We didn’t really re-connect until I was 28. It was at a retirement party for his dad. I didn’t recognize him when he opened the door.

He was still a pretty fit guy with dark blonde hair and blue eyes, but he also had a beard. I don’t think I’d ever seen him not clean shaven. I had my arm hooked into my date’s and when it clicked for me who he was, and all it took was for him to see me, look to the ground, and then look back up at me with a smirky smile for me to recognize him, I nearly knocked my date down as I nearly tackled Matt in a giant, tight hug, that he returned with a slightly choked laugh.

“Matty! It’s been so long, how are you?!” I was excited and my date quickly understood his place for the night as I’d actually forgotten he was even standing beside me, rubbing his arm as I’d yanked it to get my arm free of his.

Matt’s wife approached the front door, her eyebrow arched as Matt put me back down on the ground and cleared his throat, “Anna, this is ‘the’ Lindsey, my neighbor and the pain in my ass for what like 16 years? And her date…” he didn’t know the name of my date because I forgot he existed and didn’t introduce them, fuck.

“Peter,” I said and my date smiled and took Matt’s hand.

“Paul, actually,” I blushed. To be fair I had dated a Peter for like 6 months recently and this was only my second date with Paul…

“Sorry, Paul…my last boyfriend was named Peter and I’m used to introducing him…” I fumbled.

My date just smirked at me and Matt’s wife was turning her ultra perceptive wife radar on and had it locked on me. I had a tendency to ramble when I was nervous and I was praying his wife didn’t ask me any questions because I was certain that if she did what would come out of my mouth was, “I had a huge crush on your husband and made him kiss me when I was 13 after he shoved me down on a bunch of broken bottles and cut up my hands and knees really bad, and I still really want to fuck him, would you mind? You can hang with Peter for a while if you’d like, he smells nice and is physically attractive which is why I brought him with me in spite of not knowing him very well.”

Thankfully no questions were asked and I quickly grabbed a drink. Matt saw me with a drink and instinctively came over and took it out of my hand and sent it away. I tilted my head at him and he blushed, “Right…you’re old enough to drink…”

I nodded, “For 7 years, now go fetch me my drink back.”

He smiled and headed off to retrieve a drink for me. My date had disappeared, I wasn’t sure if he left after the name incident or if he was just mingling somewhere. Matt came back with my drink and I arched my eyebrow, “Always playing the big brother,” I said.

He shrugged, “You were always getting in trouble, someone had to look out for you.”

“And our dads would’ve killed you if you hadn’t,” I offered.

He laughed, “Very true, there was an element of self-preservation going on. Remember when you got all cut up? I thought I was dead that day. I thought for sure you would tell them I pushed you down into the glass.”

I shook my head, “You didn’t know there would be dozens of broken bottles mixed into the gravel. You weren’t trying to hurt me, just wanted me to let you be a normal teen boy hanging out with his friends instead of the weird neighbor girl.”

He smirked, “I was just glad the nurse came back in the room when she did.”

With that he headed towards his wife, as she was staring him down from across the room. I went looking for my date, but couldn’t find him, ah well, I probably wasn’t going to go out with him again anyway. Instead I found Matt’s dad and we reminisced for a while.

He reminded me of my high school graduation and how Matt flew down in the middle of the night after a full day in order to make it to the ceremony. Everyone was nervous he wouldn’t make it and I didn’t even know he was coming. Matt’s dad said they tried to find me before the ceremony but couldn’t find me and my heart sank a little.

Before my graduation ceremony I was in the boys bathroom with my first boyfriend. He had given me…I don’t know actually, something small and round and shortly after I took it I was on my knees and blowing him. Someone had come into the bathroom during and we weren’t exactly hidden, especially since he was moaning my name as I sucked his cock. I stopped long enough to turn around to see who it was but all I saw was their back as they left the room and slammed the door behind them. Now I wondered if it had been Matt.

I had thought he wasn’t feeling well, he was kind of cold toward me that night and I chalked it up to being tired. After talking to his dad a little more, I went on the hunt for Matt. He hadn’t brought anyone home from college before that summer and now I wondered why.

I found him hiding in the pantry, away from everyone, a bottle of vodka in his hand. I closed the pantry door behind me and sat on the ground in front of him, “Are you okay Matty?” I asked.

He looked up at me and smiled as he nodded, “Yeah Linds. Just taking a breather from everyone.”

I pulled a handful of gummy bears from my purse, “Want a gummy bear?” I asked.

He tilted his head slightly and laughed, “A gummy bear?”

“They have some magical properties that make it easier to handle stressful situations,” I said with a smile.

“Are these pot gummies?” he asked quietly, a concerned look on his face as he looked past me to the door. “Our dads would flip if they knew you had those.”

I smiled, “No, they’re just gummy bears. Though, I do have some pot, and E, and even a couple of dots if…”

He reached over and covered my mouth with his hand, “My dad is a cop, I have no idea if he has recording devices around but it wouldn’t surprise me so shhh.”

I licked his hand and got him to pull it away from my mouth as he scowled at me, “Former cop,” I said and held up two small yellow tablets with a smiley face imprinted on them. “What do you say?”

I put one on my tongue and swallowed it, holding the other one out to him. He was hesitant, but he took it and with a swig of vodka it was gone. I smiled, “Have you ever done that before?”

He shook his head, “Just pot.”

“You’ll start to feel it in a little while, don’t have anymore alcohol, start drinking water for the rest of the party. If you start to feel bad, come find me and I’ll sit with you until you’re through it,” I stood up to leave and he grabbed my hand, causing me to turn around and look at him.

“How long will that be?” he asked.

“For me about 4 hours after it kicks in. For you it’ll probably be closer to 3.”

He put the vodka on the bottom shelf in the pantry and stood up, I had my hand on the door, ready to open it, my other hand held his as he stood just behind me and I stopped and looked at him, “You saw me in the bathroom at my graduation didn’t you?”

A deep blush crossed his cheeks and he broke eye contact.

I smiled, but it was a sad smile, “I didn’t know you were even going to come down for it. Had I known, I probably wouldn’t have gotten high beforehand and I probably wouldn’t have done that. Well, I probably wouldn’t have done that with him at least.”

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” he said quietly.

“Why didn’t you say something when you saw me?” I asked.

“I didn’t know what to do, to be honest. I wanted to deck him, but I also didn’t want you to be mad at me. You seemed to be where you wanted to be, so I just left,” he said sadly.

I squeezed his hand, “I didn’t think you were coming. It wouldn’t have been him if I’d known you would be there.”

He furrowed his brow and I opened the door and flipped the light switch as we left the pantry. His wife, Anna, came into the kitchen as I shut the door behind us. I dropped Matt’s hand as I saw her out of the corner of my eye, he didn’t see her, if he had he probably wouldn’t have been standing so close to me.

“Matt, I need your help in the other room,” Anna said sternly, causing Matt to jump slightly as he looked up to his wife and nodded.

He quickly went with her and I leaned my forehead against the door and took a few deep breaths to calm myself. We hadn’t done anything, just two old friends talking and reminiscing, I had no reason to feel guilty. Except for giving him something that would make everything more alive in about 20 minutes.

I went back to the party and met up with John, Matt’s dad, and talked to him about when I was little as the E began to take effect. John was louder and when he put his hand on my shoulder I could feel his heart beating through his palm. I know things get heightened on E but this was a little on the extreme side and I started wondering if the E was mixed with something a little more hallucinogenic.

I saw Matt and Anna standing in the hallway by the kitchen. Anna was clearly angry as Matt tried to defend himself. I moved closer to see if I could hear them and I kinda wish I hadn’t.

Anna’s voice was ripe with contention, “I’ve heard your mom talk about her, she was always getting you in trouble and you just let her because you had a thing for her.”

“She was like my little sister. My dad and her dad have been friends for decades, I was expected to look out for her and keep her safe. I was older than her, so yeah, I didn’t let her get into trouble for things she probably should’ve but her dad was a lot stricter than mine was,” Matt replied.

“So? Maybe if you had let her dad be stricter with her she wouldn’t be screwing everything that walked past her,” Anna scoffed.

Matt sighed, “She’s…she’s…not…She was my best friend. I stopped hanging out with her when we started dating, I stopped checking up on her when you asked me to, I stopped interacting because you asked. I just want to know she’s safe and happy.”

Everyone thought that of me. That because I dated a shit ton of guys I’d slept with all of them. The truth is I hadn’t liked any of them enough to do more than oral sex. I was still a fucking virgin and everyone thought I was a slut. I never corrected them. What was I going to do? Drop my panties bend over and prove it?

It just hurt that he didn’t defend me from the accusation, which meant he believed it too. I listened a little more and heard Anna make demands, no talking to me, no interacting, nothing for the rest of the party or he could just stay here at his parents house and not bother coming home. He said he had to say goodbye or it would look weird. She agreed to that caveat and huffed away. I don’t think she saw me leaning against the wall where they were arguing.

I heard Matt lean against the wall just behind me and felt the wall vibrate as he hit it and muttered, “Fuck,” under his breath. I waited until he came through the doorway and grabbed his hand.

My eyes were watering and my lip quivered. I looked up towards the ceiling and laughed slightly, “I’m not…what she said, I haven’t…”

He looked distressed when he realized I’d heard them arguing, “It doesn’t matter, you can live your life however you want.”

I shook my head and wiped the tears from my cheeks, “I’ll leave you alone, I didn’t mean to cause you any problems. I should go, so you don’t have to try and avoid me. It was good to see you again.”

I dropped his hand and made my way through the people, forcing a smile when I saw John, but my eyes were red and my eyeliner and mascara were probably streaking down my cheeks, so I just dropped my head and made my way to the front door to leave. I didn’t completely leave though, I walked over to my mom and dad’s house and went to the backyard, pulling the panel that my dad was supposed to fix fifteen years ago from the shed and crawled inside to cry.

No one ever bothered me out here, no one really knew to look for me out here. I sobbed in the corner of the shed, somewhere I hadn’t gone in over ten years. I regretted taking the E, everything was heightened, the smell of the fuel in the lawnmower, the smell of the pile of sawdust under my dad’s bench saw, the mildew stench that lingered near the concrete floor. The cold hard concrete beneath me and the heat of the tears streaming down my face all felt exceptionally worse than they should have.

I couldn’t tell you how long I stayed in the shed, but when I crawled back out it was much darker out than it had been. My date had driven to the party so I could either crash at my parents’ house or walk the three miles back to my hotel. I took my heels off and opted to walk, knowing my face was stained with smeared makeup and I probably looked like I’d had the worst night of my life.

I was approached repeatedly on the walk, people asked if I was okay, some promised they could get me to smile at their party, others just surrounded me and groped me as I pushed through them and continued on. I’m not sure I even would have cared if one of them had pulled me into an alley at that point. Side effect of pretty little pills that heighten emotions and sensations, it’s not always the happy and exciting stuff that gets heightened.

One group of younger guys I passed actually ripped my dress at the neck and along the hem as they surrounded me and tried to forcibly encourage me to go party with them. I made it through the group and continued on, ignoring their insults and crudeness. My feet hurt, the concrete ripped my stockings on the bottom of my feet as I got nearer to the hotel, they were not meant to stand up to a long walk on rough surfaces.

I made it back to my hotel and saw Matt sitting in the lobby, looking around nervously between checking his phone. He tapped his fingers on his leg and when he saw me a wave of relief came over him, at least until he saw the state of my outfit makeup and the fact that at least one of my feet were bleeding from stepping on some glass along the way, I wasn’t sure where, I kinda didn’t notice.

I looked at him and tilted my head slightly, then headed over to the elevators as I heard him talking on the phone, “Yeah, dad, I’ve got her, she’s back at her hotel, she just walked in. I’m just going to make sure she’s…”

I turned around and cut him off and I’m sure John could hear me, “I didn’t ask you to check on me. I didn’t…I’m 28 and I’m capable of taking care of myself. I don’t need you. I don’t need any of you following me around and protecting me from the world. I know how to make my way in it and I know…I know the best d**gs to make it tolerable…”

I felt a little lightheaded and put my hand up on the wall in front of me. Matt picked me up as the hotel staff watched, a maid carefully cleaning the blood trail from my cut up feet from the front door to the elevators. He looked at the girl behind the front desk, “Can you get me a first aid kit? I’m an EMT but I don’t have my kit with me.” The girl nodded and headed back into a little room behind her desk.

As the elevator opened and Matt stepped in with me in his arms the girl ran over with a large fabric kit and hooked the strap over my shoulder, “Should we call an ambulance?” she asked.

Matt shook his head, “No, I’ll call if they’re more than I can handle, my dad is on his way over, he’s a cop, can you send him up to her room when he gets here?”

The girl nodded, though was clearly uncomfortable with the situation. Matt noticed and blocked the elevator door as it closed then looked down to me, “She’s a family friend, her dad will probably be with mine and they shouldn’t be more than 20 minutes.”

The elevator door closed and he carefully maneuvered me so he could grab my purse and pull the keycard from it without putting me down. We went up and he went straight to my room, I gave him a curious look. And he didn’t even half to look at me to know I was wondering how he knew which room I was in, “I asked at the front desk which room you were in. I knocked, you didn’t answer, so I asked them to call your room, there was no answer and housekeeping checked to see if you were in, you weren’t, so I waited. My dad and yours have been going to your old hideouts. Dad saw how upset you were when you were leaving…”

I scoffed, “You guys are never going to let me live that down are you?”

He looked at me and furrowed his brow, “You jumped off of your roof. If my dad hadn’t grabbed you when he did…”

I nodded, “Sometimes I wish he hadn’t.”

“He wouldn’t have survived that. As it was he went to counseling for two years over it and you just pretended like it never even happened when you got home,” he said.

I shrugged, “Mom got upset if I tried to talk about it, she kept threatening to hospitalize me again if I so much as acknowledged it.”

“They didn’t tell me until a year later when I found out about dad being in counseling. That man had seen a lot in his years as a cop and you trying to kill yourself was what pushed him to see a shrink. You never did tell me why you did it.”

I laughed and he sat me on the bathroom counter as he pulled the first aid kit over his head and sat it on the floor beside us. He glared at me, “What’s so funny?”

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, my makeup smeared onto it. I shook my head, “I was just being a stupid jealous teenager.”

He stood in front of me and put his hand on my upper thigh, grasping the top of my thigh high and sliding it down and off my leg then did the same with the other one before he knelt in front of me. He cleaned the blood and dirty from my feet. I winced and cringed a few times but he was gentle and he pulled a pair of sterile tweezers from a plastic package in the kit and removed a couple of pieces of glass that has been embedded pretty deep in the heel of my foot.
It hadn’t been long enough for the E to wear off, so his fingertips on my legs sent chills through me, but removing the glass made me cry out. He cleaned the wound and flushed it with a saline wash in the first aid kit.

I leaned back against the bathroom mirror and tried to breathe through the pain as he taped some gauze to the bottoms of my feet. He didn’t speak at all as he worked on me, but once my feet were taken care of he got a fresh cloth and ran clean water in the sink beside us and started cleaning the dirt and smeared makeup off of my face.

“How’d your dress get ripped?” he asked.

I shrugged.

“Did anyone hurt you between the party and here?”

“No,” I said.

He carefully wiped away my makeup as much as he could with some warm water, he was standing close to me, his hand on the back of my neck as he tilted my head towards the light to see my face a little better. The cloth dragged over my lip and pulled it slightly. He licked his lips, and I leaned forward and kissed him.

He didn’t stop me, but he did pull away after a few seconds when a knock sounded on the door. He cleared his throat and went to answer it. Our dads came into the room and he lead them into the bathroom, where they could both see I was okay.

“What happened to your feet, baby?” my dad asked.

“I took my shoes off on the walk and stepped on some glass. I’m fine, it’s not deep,” I said.

John looked to Matt, “Does she need to go to the hospital?” he asked.

He looked at me and shook his head, “I don’t think so. The glass wasn’t very big, it should heal up enough to walk easily in a couple of days.”

“That’s not what I…” his dad started as he turned to me and put his hand on the back of my neck, making me look at him, “Are you safe? Are you going to try to hurt yourself?” he asked me.

Matt grabbed his dad’s hand and pulled it away from me, “Dad, she walked three miles to get back to her hotel room, crossed at least two bridges to get here. I don’t think she’s going to hurt herself.”

I looked away from them, “I’m 28. You don’t have to fuss over me like I’m 8.”

John chuckled, “I’m more worried about you being 18 than 8.”

I looked up at him, my eyes were still red and teary, “I never thanked you for what you did. You could have fallen with me when you grabbed me and I didn’t think that part through. I’m sorry, and thank you.”

He moved over to me and hugged me tightly, his hand rubbed up and down my back, “I had to do what I did, your dad would’ve killed me if I hadn’t,” he said with a slight chuckle. My dad patted his back and squeezed his shoulder, about as close to a hug as he was willing to give another guy, no matter how long they’d been friends.

John let go of me and my dad put his hand on my shoulder, “You can come home and stay the night you know?”

I nodded, “I’m okay though. I didn’t mean to make any of you worry. I just wanted to clear my head and go for a walk. Go home, Daddy, I’m fine,” I insisted as I hopped off the counter and worked on balancing myself on the balls of my feet so my heels weren’t on the ground, they ached.

John, Matt, and my Dad all headed out to the main room of my hotel. Matt had the first aid kit over his shoulder and I ushered them all out the door and closed and locked it behind them. I felt like I’d wasted the E I’d taken earlier given how shitty things went and how much worse they felt thanks to that. So, I went looking for my purse to see what fun I had left.

I undressed as I went around the room looking for the little clutch I’d had with me. I know I’d had it because Matt used it to get my key to my room out. I was looking around the bathroom floor when I heard a light knock on my door. I stood up on my tip-toes and peeked through the hole in the door to see who was there. Matt stood there, tapping my clutch against his palm as he waited.

I barely opened the door and reached around to take my clutch. He put his hand in mine and tugged on me just a little, “Can I come in and talk to you? Your dad headed home, my dad is going to ride back with me. He knows why you were upset, I told him about what Anna said, how she doesn’t want me talking to you or being around you, so he’s staying so we can talk without her getting pissed at me.”

“What is there to talk about? You’re married, your wife hates me, and if I open this door she’s going to hate me a lot more,” I said.

“She won’t know we talked alone, she’ll think my dad was with us,” he offered.

I laughed a little, “From what she said she would probably just think I fucked you both.”

“Please let me talk to you?”

I sighed and opened the door as I stood behind it, out of view. He turned around to say something and dropped my purse as I leaned back against the door, still standing on my tip-toes, causing my legs to look like I was wearing heels, biting my lip. I was just in my bra and panties. They weren’t particularly sexy or anything. A simple white lace bikini panty and matching bra.

He just stood there, staring at me until I blushed and looked away from him, “I told you she’d hate me more if I opened the door for you,” I said quietly as I looked to the floor.

“Oh, fuck,” he whined as he came over to me and tilted my head up towards him, kissing me hard on the lips. His beard was softer than I expected it to be, it tickled a little. His hands grasped my ass and lifted me up, the door supporting my back as he supported my lower body against his. He bit his lip as he pulled his lips from mine, his forehead rested against mine, “If I leave for a few minutes, will you let me back in when I come back?”

I looked him in the eyes and nodded, “I’m always going to let you in, Matt.”

He put me back down and I moved away from the door. He left and I leaned back against the wall in the hallway, taking a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself. I picked up my purse and thought about taking something else, but I didn’t, I just put it aside and waited for Matt to knock on my door again.

When he did it was a soft and hesitant knock. I opened the door and he came into the room, he was nervous and looked me over, “I told my dad about the d**gs in your purse, said I was wrong and wasn’t sure it was safe to leave you alone. He’s going home. I told him I’d get rid of the d**gs and watch you because I didn’t know if or what you’d taken of any of it. I just threw you under the bus and…and…”

I wrapped my hand around his wrist and put his hand on my breast as I tilted my head and looked at him, gauging his interest and willingness. He sighed and closed his eyes, cupping and massaging my breast through my bra. I moved closer to him and he let his hand slide up my chest and along the side of my neck. I leaned my head towards his hand and I watched him smile with his eyes closed.

“Your wife is going to know,” I said softly as he tipped my head back and kissed my neck.

“She cheated on me with her boss a few years ago. I should’ve left then,” he offered.

He kissed my jaw and across my cheek until his lips pressed to the corner of mine, then his lips pressed firmly against my lower lip. I licked his upper lip and he smiled, opening his mouth to kiss me deeper. I moaned and he tightened his grip on the side of my neck, his fingers curled around to the back of my head and his thumb caressed my cheek. His hands slid down my neck and over my shoulders.

“I should’ve punched him,” he said as his lips trailed down the front side of my neck.

“Your wife’s boss?” I asked.

He laughed a little and shook his head, “The boy in the bathroom. I walked away and I should’ve punched him.”

His lips kissed the tops of my breasts as his hands groped me, his fingers caught in the straps of my bra and he pulled them off of my shoulders. His wife’s breasts were bigger than mine, but he didn’t seem to mind as he pulled the cups of my bra down and closed his lips over my left nipple. I ran my hands up through his hair along the back of his neck and held him to me as his hands groped my side and thigh. He uncovered my other breast and eagerly sucked on that nipple as well. My nipples had been erect since he kissed me by the door, now he just savored them and kissed along the swell along the bottom of my breasts in turn.

He looked up at me, “What would you have done if I’d have done that?”

I was biting my lower lip, completely distracted as his hands groped my ass and rubbed my lower back, “This?” I asked a bit breathlessly.

I felt him smile as he kissed over my hip bones, “No, what would you have done if I punched your boyfriend back then?”

I opened my eyes and looked down at him, “I probably would have been startled and bit his dick.”

He looked up at me, “I should’ve punched him.”

“I was high when that happened. He gave me something to make me feel better then a little while later I was on my knees in the boys bathroom blowing him,” I said.

“Did you want to be?” he asked as he rubbed my hips.

I shrugged, “I honestly don’t know. I don’t remember hating it or feeling resistant to it or anything.”

He stopped rubbing my hips, “Are you high now?”

“I don’t think so,” I said, “I think things have worn off, or are wearing off at least.”

He hooked his fingers in the waistband of my panties and pulled them down my legs. He looked at me, I kept things completely bare because it made me feel cleaner. And I was suddenly self conscious, clasping my hands together in front of me. He kissed my hands and pulled them away from me.

“Do you want me to stop?” he asked.

I fidgeted, shifting my weight from one foot to the other and shook my head.

He smiled and pressed his lips to my pussy, slipping his tongue between the two puffy lips that hid the rest of my anatomy from him. I had my legs tightly closed, making it difficult for him to do more than just lick and kiss down the front of me and he was trying to be careful about letting me stay off of my heels so he didn’t want to force my legs apart. He quickly stood and scooped me up into his arms and carried me to the bed, laying me down an easily separating my legs so he could swirl his tongue along all of my pussy.

I moaned and squirmed as his tongue slid back and forth, in circles, up and down and other various swirls and twirls. Encouraged by my glistening cunt, he rubbed his finger against my opening and then up and over my clit as his tongue gently probed the elastic membrane that surrounded my pussy. It stretched as he flattened his tongue and curled it just inside of me as he stopped trying to push forward due to the resistance.

He pulled his tongue free of me and climbed up my body, lifting my back slightly to unhook my bra and pull it off of my arms. He was still fully dressed and I was completely exposed beneath him. He knelt in front of me and pulled me up onto his lap, leaning down to kiss my breasts and my neck as he wrapped his arms around me. I moved my hips against his lap and he moaned and leaned his head back.

I took the opportunity and kissed and sucked on the side of his neck, just beyond his beard. I kissed my way up to his ear, “You’re still dressed,” I whispered.

He nodded and bit his lip, I pried it from his teeth with my own lips, sucking gently on his lower lip as his hands grasped my hips, which were still grinding against his lap. He kissed me deeply again and looked me in the eye, “Do you want to undress me?” he asked.

I nodded and started unbuttoning his shirt. He was tall and fairly muscular with the slightest bit of ‘dad bod’ going on. So it didn’t surprise me that he had soft curls of dark hair on his chest. I smiled and ran my fingertips through it until my hands grasped his shoulders and slid his shirt down onto his arms. He let go of my hips just long enough to help me pull his shirt off of him.

Matt’s hands moved from my hips down to my inner thighs. Watching my reaction as his thumb rubbed between my pussy lips made him smile as he spoke, “I want to take my pants off but I don’t want you to get off of my lap to take them off.”

I ran my fingers through his chest hair, “We could just unfasten them.”

He put his hand under my butt and looked me in the eye, “You remember how you held onto me when I took you to the hospital?” he asked.

I nodded and he rubbed my upper thighs, “Do that.”

I did just that, locking my forearms behind his neck and holding my body as close to his as I could as I crossed my ankles behind his lower back. He put his hand on my butt and held me to him as he got off of the bed. He stopped touching me only long enough to remove his pants, boxers and socks as I lowered myself down a little. He reached down between us and pulled his cock up against his stomach as I rubbed myself against the side of his shaft.

He moaned loudly and laid me back down on the bed. He moved and the head of his dick rubbed over my slick pussy, pushing gently at my opening but not really trying to penetrate me. I watched him as he watched his cock rubbing over my soft pink slit. He brought his eyes up my body until they caught my gaze, “I really want to fuck you,” he moaned.

I scooted away from him and for a moment I thought he was going to pin me down and push into me as he grabbed my wrist tightly. His jaw clenched as I lay beneath him but his grip on my wrist loosened and he reluctantly let me climb out from under him. He sat up and shook his head like he was coming to grips with himself, his hand went up to his eyes, which he closed and rubbed, as he sat back on his heels.

“Right, you’re right, I shouldn’t it’s wrong we…” his hand moved down to grasp my hair as my mouth lowered down over his cock. “Oh God,” his hands trembled against the back of my head as he quickly came in my mouth. His hardness only slightly softened as I looked up at him and continued to lick and kiss his cock.

He put his hands on either side of my face, pulled me up to him and, even with a bit of his cum on my lower lip, he kissed me deeply, my hands stroked his cock and I smiled through the kiss. I pulled away just enough to look in his eyes, “I want you to fuck me too.”

He lay me back on the bed and I bit my lower lip as he positioned himself between my legs, he pushed at me gently then looked up to me, “It might hurt.”

I nodded. I was wet and ready and his cock was slicked with a mix of his lingering cum and my saliva. He pushed himself against me a little harder, moving his cock back and forth, trying to stretch me more than tear me. I got impatient and grabbed his ass, pulling him quickly into me. I cried out and he tensed up as he wrapped his hands under me and lifted my hips so he could gently fuck me.

After a few strokes the pain began to subside and I started moving myself towards him. He smiled and pulled me up to him he had one hand on the back of my head and the other on my lower back, holding me tightly to him as he thrust upwards into me and I brought my hips down to his lap in a slow rocking motion.

He kissed my neck and I moaned I could feel him smiling as his lips moved up towards my ear, “I was trying to go gently you know?”

I nodded, panting slightly as I started to take control of the rhythm of riding his cock, “I just wanted you inside of me, Matty.”

He moaned and kissed me hard and maneuvered us so that I was back to lying on the bed. His hands slid up and down my body, grasping and pulling and groping me in various places as he thrust hard and deep enough to bring tears to my eyes. He pulled free of me for a moment and turned me over onto my stomach, pulling my hips back to him as he pushed into me from behind.

I whimpered and squirmed towards him. I liked this a lot and when he brought his arm around my waist and started rubbing my slippery and swollen clit as his cock thrust into me, my knees went week and my hips lowered a little. He didn’t correct me or pull me back up, he just fucked me harder, practically forcing me into a prone position on the bed as his index and middle fingers toyed with my clit and the slight bit I was able to lift my hips allowed him just enough access to my cunt to go hard and deep.

I was panting and lifted myself up onto my forearms for additional support, my hips and butt resumed the proper height and angle for optimum penetration. It wasn’t long before my body was trembling in his grip and he was holding me still and soothing me, kissing my back, the back of my neck, groping my breasts as he continued to fuck me through the contracting and shivery orgasm he’d brought about.

I turned my head back towards him and looked at him longingly, wantonly as he thrust into me. His hand moved down to my lower abdomen and pulled me up to him as he thrust deep inside of me and I felt a flood of warmth fill me. He was covered in sweat and panting hard, holding my body up to his as he ensured every drop of his cum was inside of my body.

When he pulled free of me he collapsed over onto the bed and laughed, “Fuck,” he muttered under his breath before he turned to look at me, lying on my stomach, ass lifted in the air slightly and rocking my hips side to side as I smiled at him and bit my lower lip.

“How long have you wanted to do that?” I asked as he rubbed my butt and spanked me slightly as I kept moving my hips in a happy and fulfilled way.

He closed his eyes and brought his hands up to his face, “Since you kissed me in the hospital. I just didn’t think I could. At least not until you turned 18, I had to wait and it was hard but I waited…”

My smile faded, “Until you saw me in the bathroom with that boy…”

He nodded and pulled his hands away from his face, his eyes were wet with tears, “I was furious, and sad, and confused, and so fucking heartbroken. I thought you’d liked me too and then to see you…”

I climbed over to him and lay on my back beside him, my legs lay over his and my head rested in the crook of his arm as he stroked my arm, “I didn’t know you liked me, I thought you were mostly irritated by me.”

“I was irritated that I was supposed to keep you safe from guys like me when I just wanted you on my lap, all the fucking time. If I thought our dad’s wouldn’t have killed me I’d have made a move before I went away to college, showed you that I was head over heels for you.”

“Why’d you start dating Anna?” I asked.

He sighed, “You broke my heart and I maybe wanted to break yours a little.”

“Was it worth it?” I asked.

He shook his head, “No. I was acting like a spoiled brat not getting their way. I should’ve done the mature thing and punched the guy in the bathroom and told you I loved you.”

“Shoulda, coulda, woulda,” I half smiled. “You never said anything about the card I gave you,” I said.

He smirked at me and climbed over the side of the bed, grabbed his wallet from his pants pocket and climbed back up beside me. Matt opened his wallet up and pulled out a well worn, cheaply printed photo of 16-year-old me biting my lip and looking at the camera, twirling my finger in my hair. It was only from about the collarbone up, but it was obvious that he had looked at that photo a lot.

“You got me through a lot of homesick nights,” he said as he put the photo back in its hiding spot inside of his wallet. “Were you wearing anything when you took that picture?”

I nodded, “I was wearing a halter top, I just untied it before I took the picture. What do you mean by I got you through homesick nights?” I asked with a slight smirk.

He blushed, “Not like that! Well…not always like that. It was just…when things got hard…,” he cleared his throat, “difficult, when things got difficult I’d pull that picture out and think about you and how if I succeeded with this it would put me in a better position to pursue you and a real relationship with you. I wanted you to be proud of me.”

I smiled, “I was always proud of you.”

My smile faded as he clasped his fingers with mine and I felt his wedding band. I pulled my hand free and furrowed my brow. He caught on pretty quickly to what had upset me and pulled the ring off with just a bit of effort.

“The timing of things, you trying to jump off of the roof, that was right after I brought Anna down to visit wasn’t it?” he asked.

I nodded, “I saw you two in your bedroom not long before you went back to school. It hurt to see you fucking her, but I couldn’t look away either. After you left it was all I could see when I closed my eyes. I hadn’t slept or eaten anything in at least a week, probably closer to two weeks, at the time. I wasn’t thinking clearly. I don’t know if I wanted to die or just wanted a physical pain that matched what was going on in my head, something that could actually be seen and treated.”

His phone started ringing and he cringed at the timing but leaned over and retrieved it from his pants pocket. It was his dad. He kissed me again then answered it, “Hello?” he said.

I couldn’t hear the other end of the conversation but from the expression on his face, it wasn’t good. I rubbed his hand and he rubbed mine, “That’s fine. I understand. No. I really don’t care, dad. It’s fine.”

I kissed his neck and he smiled and sighed, trying to keep his composure, “Yeah, she’s here with me, she’s okay. No, you don’t need to come stay with us, I’m an EMT remember? I know what to do if…yeah. Okay, yeah.” he groaned a little as I stroked his cock, he looked strained between frustration and happiness as the conversation continued, “Yeah, I know. Is she worth it?” he looked to me and smiled as I smiled up at him, “Definitely,” he said. “Yeah, love you too, dad. See you in the morning.”

He hung up and looked at me, “So, apparently Anna’s had separation papers drawn up for a while now and they were just delivered to my dad because she didn’t know where you were staying. I’m pretty sure everyone knows what happened here tonight.”

I tilted my head slightly, “Do you think my dad knows?”

He looked at his phone at a text that came through, from my dad. It said: Your dad knows all the best places to bury you if you break her heart, remember that.

I rolled my eyes, “Your dad isn’t going to…” another text came in with a picture of my dad and his sitting at a table in front of a big map of the town, wearing their glasses and pointing to a spot on the map while looking over at the camera with sinister glares on their faces. I laughed, “Well, they’ll have to bury me with you I guess.”

He pulled the blanket up over me, his arm wrapped behind me and pulled me close to him then leaned over to kiss my forehead as he took a picture of us, from the neck up, both smiling happily, and sent it back to his dad with a message that said, “She’s always going to be safe with me.”

I took his phone and texted back: Busy, phone being turned off now.

Then I tossed it on the bed and climbed up on Matt’s lap. “Wanna go take a bath with me?” I asked.

He smiled and nodded, carefully maneuvering off the bed without having to put me down on the ground, “You should stay off your feet for a couple of days, guess I’m gonna be stuck here taking care of you.”

I smiled and kicked my feet back and forth at his sides, my arms clasped together behind his head as he carried me to the bathroom.

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