I never should have married Dani, because I was a repressed homosexual. I didn’t want the shame of being a fag, so I tried to get married. I had no idea how to fuck a woman, and the idea of it was a turn off. I wanted my freedom so I kept talking to Dani about her having a boyfriend. So when she met Jay – who was very handsome and sexy – she wanted him. She began bringing him up in conversation, and when she mentioned that he wouldn’t stop calling her, I casually suggested that maybe if she went out with him once, he’d leave her alone after that.
I fuckin’ LOVE the noises men make when I’m suckin them off! Men love it when you whimper! Dani told me that guys go nuts when you make gagging noises when giving head! So I tried it and wow – she was right! I learned so much about pleasing men from my Filipina ex wife Dani.
First time I ever got locked up was for petty theft. I stole a box of condoms from a store, and as I walked out this big dude of around 16 grabbed me by the arm and dragged me back into the store. I was so scared I was farting! They made me wait in the upstairs office until the cop got there. He gave me a ticket with a court date. I went home and confessed to my wife what happened. Ironically, her boyfriend Jay was a police officer, so she called him, but he said it was too late because the cop had already written the ticket. He said if I had mentioned his name right away he probably could have helped me out. Anyway, I went to court and plead guilty. I was sentenced to probation and I had to report to the jail to have my photo and prints taken.
The booking office was really busy, so because I was nonviolent, the stuck in this cage type area. In the adjoining cage was a black guy who was waiting to go upstairs to the cell block. At first he was friendly, but after a while he started making fun of me. He told me I had a pair of sexy lips – “That mouth was just MADE for sucking cock,” he said. I told him to fuck off, but he just laughed and told me I was lucky that I wasn’t going upstairs, because – “You’d be makin some nigga a LOT of money.”
And he was saying this loudly too, so that the female C.O.s and the secretaries could hear. I was red as a beet, because I could see them looking at me and smirking over the stuff he was saying.
But later, when I was at home and Dani was out with Jay, I kept masturbating and thinking about what that guy had said about me. And when I was really horny, I kept thinking about how I wish I HAD been brought upstairs to the cells! I wanted to suck cock. When I’m horny it’s like I’m on d**gs – I get reckless. I knew once I came I’d lose the courage to do it, so I stopped short of cumming, got dressed and walked to the same store, and stole another box of condoms! This time, because I was on probation, I was arrested and booked into the jail. I could have called Dani, but I wanted this for myself. They brought me upstairs and made me strip naked a spread my buttocks for inspection. I heard a guard say, “I wonder how long THAT’S gonna stay tight!”
I was terrified as they unlocked the door to the cell block and heard the hellish cacophony of noise. The inmates were in the dayroom and the tv was up full blast and they were all yelling. They were craning their necks to get a look at me. My knees buckled and I shrank back in fear. “Come on, get going,” the guard said, holding me by the arm and half dragging me inside. I babbled to him that I had changed my mind, that I wanted to make bail, but he told me it was too late, that I’d have to take care of it from up here.
I didn’t realize that, because of my small stature and slight build, plus the fear that was palpable coming off of me, that I had already been marked for raipe! The other part of me knew that this why I had come here tonight – to fulfil my destiny. initially I was relieved that no one seemed to bother me. But the next morning a black dude began talking to me, and although he wasn’t being overtly threatening, there was a definite menacing quality about him. He began by asking me all sorts of questions, before telling me the “rules.” He explained that there were 2 different set of rules: the jail rules, and the inmate rules. Then he told me I had to have my head shaved. I really didn’t want to have my head shaved because I was really proud of my blonde hair! But his manner made me realize that the matter was out of my hands. He told me that he could “protect” me from the other inmates, because a lot of them were racists and hated Caucasians. About 80 percent of the population on my cell block were non white. He told me his name was Top, and he said that I had to go ask the guard for the clippers. He shaved my head bald except for a topknot at the top of my skull.
That night after chow, I was attacked and raiped by several black guys, after I refused to give one of them a blow job. When it was over I was bleeding profusely from my rectum and had 2 black eyes and a fat lip. The staff had me transported to the E.R where I had to have 6 stitches in my anus. From there I was brought back to jail. They kept me downstairs for about a week, until I healed, and then a nurse asked me if I felt “comfortable” about going back upstairs. I didn’t know what to say so I remained silent. She was sympathetic and gave me a couple of small tubes of medicinal lube, and advised me that hair products of a petroleum base were available in the commissary.
The first thing Top did when I got back upstairs was to shave my head skin bald again -except for my blonde top knot. He told me that if I didn’t accept his offer of protection, the same thing was going to happen to me again. He told me: “From now on, you are my property. You will do everything I say without question, you will keep the “house” clean, wash my draws and socks, and be ready when I want to get my freak on. Do we have an understanding?”
With fear and misery, I hung my head and nodded. He grabbed my chin in his hand and squeezed hard. “You say, ‘Yes DADDY!’ You understand?”
My life from then on was a replica of slavery. My owner renamed me with a female name, and made me cherry up my lips, like the bitch I now was. He told me only men wear pants, so I had to wear the pullover jail top only, and keep my legs bare – like a woman. We had sex all the time – he was always horny – and after a day or so, so was I. I began looking forward to having sex with him. I mean, he was big and handsome, and had a sweet hard cock. Top like to gamble, and when he lost he would use me to pay off his debts. after a couple of weeks he informed me that I had been sold to another inmate.
Because Dani’s boyfriend Jay knew I was in custody, he asked the staff how I was doing, and they informed him of what I had become behind the bars – a jailhouse bitch. Of course he told Annie and when she confronted me about it during a visit, I tried to deny it, but then I burst into tears and admitted what I was. I’ll never forget the look of disgust on her pretty face as she hung up the phone and walked out of the visiting area. I had lost it all – my wife, my manhood, my freedom. I was no longer a man, I was a jailhouse sissy.